I feel icky, I feel sad, I feel mad and I don't really know how to explain any of it. All I really know is that I don't want to be here and I want to be home.
Where is here? Pattaya, in the heart of the red light district. It's a heavy dark place and it makes me feel sick. But for the last couple of days I haven't been able to put my finger on exactly where the sick feeling comes from. I have come to the conclusion that it's not the prostitution itself, but the demand for it. And this is where I become very judgemental because I don't know what they are here from and I am just assuming, but there are so many elderly, western, single men here. That's what makes me feel sick, that here in Pattaya, I feel like the view seems to be people from the west are only here for the one thing. I don't want to be connected to that in anyway, but I feel like I am because of the country I have grown up in. In this city I feel ashamed for being from the west.
What also makes me feel totally sick, is that kids, like our orphans, are here. Growing up in this place not knowing anything different. Being trapped. Being sold into prostitution because their parents need money. Or being left to fend for themselves while their parents go out and earn money. Because of this, it makes me more and more thankful everyday for the Elisha's Children's home in which we came from before we came here. There they are protected, they are able to to be children, they have their innocence and they have a bright and hopeful future
From Innocence, Light and Hope to Darkness, Heaviness and Despair; and then finding innocence, light, and hope in Christ, who is more than at work here - he is home. The cross broke the power of all this. One day, it will all be redeemed.
ReplyDeleteHappy to hear how God is watering in you the seeds of justice. Clean water for a weakened soul. The fruit will be rich. Bless you Meg.
My heart goes out to you Meg. I know that God is with you every step of the way. We don't know the full story of what happens in other countries because we live in quite an insulated, different culture. It's only what we see on the news, or hear from people like yourself as to the real picture of our sad and sorry state our world is in. But we are only visiting this planet. Luv you heaps Meg, looking forward to seeing you home soon. OXOXOX Auntie Loo
ReplyDeleteNot sure what else to say other than we love you and we miss you. I have been blown away by the growth that's happening in you while you've been away. We know you are doing fully excellent things & God's not done yet xxoo
ReplyDeleteThis is no light stuff, that's for sure. Thanks for sharing! I am quite fond of you, mate. :)
ReplyDeleteHey meg, looks like your doing great stuff. When i was in thailand i visited an orphanage in chang rai. Don't know if you remembered harley from uni but he was living and working with them for two years. Many of the girls their were rescued from the prostitution trade and it's sad that they only see two ways out of their poverty(selling their bodys and marrying a westerner).
ReplyDeleteIt's great that organisations like this give help to those that really need it.
In my time overseas my perspective on god changed alot, I'm loosing my faith and it saddens me. It's fantastic that your connection to god is so strong. I am glad that your having a great time traveling the world and helping others.
Don't feel too home sick, as soon as you get back u'll be planning your next trip. :-P
Cheers,
George.